


Midnight Talk

by nambnb



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-02
Updated: 2012-05-02
Packaged: 2018-04-08 00:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4283541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nambnb/pseuds/nambnb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Midnight Talk" is a mishmash of short stories/drabbles that I wrote considering an inner view on the characters Kotetsu & Barnaby. The chapters have no real connection, aside from often being set around midnight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Midnight Talk

Champagne, wine, beer - cheap beer as a last resort - that was the result of one night of drinking between two grown up men that should have been more aware that they would be hungover like hell in the morning. They would regret it later, when they had to learn that the person they were assigned to watch over would be gone - kidnapped, along with their friend. But that realisation would come much later, some hours away from this moment now.

They had talked about four hours. Well, to be more precise, Barnaby had talked while Kotetsu had listened most of the time, only sometimes adding a question or a 'hum'-sound to his partner's monologue about his past. It was quite a hard subject to talk about as Kotetsu witnessed how Barnaby would often stop in his sentences trying to bite back his hatred as well as some tears that Kotetsu saw glistening in his eyes whenever he mentioned his parents and how much he had loved them. No, he still loved them, death doesn't kill that kind of emotion, Kotetsu could be sure about that whenever his eyes darted over to his wedding ring that reminded him of his own loss.

What was worse? Loosing a loved one you knew for years and years so it seemed like you were together for your whole life, so your soul seemed to split in half when it happened, or loosing your beloved parents as a little kid? Both was hard, Kotetsu was sure about that. But a little kid would probably be less prepared to manage on his own than a grown up man.

Though he was not sure if 'managing death' was what he had done exactly, seeing as he had practically run away from everything - his daughter, his family in general. He couldn't take it anymore at this point. How was he supposed to console anybody else when solace was the last feeling he had left at that time? His soul had felt raw, tormented, empty at best, anything but well enough to convey comfort to others, even if it meant that his little girl had to cry alone. He had barely mustered enough strength to absentmindedly stroke her tiny back sometimes, less for soothing her but more to tie himself to the reality that existed without his beloved wife. It was real, he was sure about that, however unreal it all felt. He knew he had to overcome his pain, he knew he had to stay positive, if not for himself then for his daughter, that was his job as a parent. He had to stay, he couldn't just run away from all this.  
But he had done it, nevertheless.  
The pain had been too much, had carved his soul to an unbearable extent, had pierced and frozen his heart. He was not strong enough then. He had run, had given up, giving in to the pain, to the hurt. It was easier than facing the inevitable.  
It had taken a long time before he was even able to face his kid and family again. Nobody was angry, or at least they said that they weren't angry, that they understood. But Kotetsu had the feeling that the cleft between his remaining family, especially between his daughter and himself, was getting broader by the day since then. But at least he had someone left from his family.

It was a different story for Barnaby, who was all alone. But Barnaby had acted differently. Standing in front of the ruins that had once been his home, holding on to the memories of his beloved parents, he had been able to move forward. Be it that it was out of hatred for his parents' murderer, that he had taken the steps that lead him since that time, but he still had moved. He had tried to make a serious effort in finding hints about the suspect he only remembered from a tattoo on his hand amidst a nightmare of flames. Nobody would help him it seemed, and even if they would have wanted to, they wouldn't have been able to do so, since the much needed information seemed perfectly hidden. Barnaby had been able to dig up something nevertheless. A hint in a newspaper, a trial against a criminal, bits and pieces of a puzzle that still didn't form a whole, but all was better than nothing. Better than doing nothing, than giving up under the pain, than running away from it.  
Kotetsu had to give Barnaby credit for being brave in that aspect. Even the attention whore attitude he always showed - smiling at every camera, stating that he wanted to gather points no matter what - all just to openly challenge the murderer to dare come and get him, too.

Kotetsu smiled to the can of beer that he swirled lazily in his hand now. Barnaby was just a honest kid, nothing more. He clearly showed what he wanted. Nothing like him, who didn't even know what to expect from life anymore. Everything just went for the worse after his wife had deceased; his family was broken, his job didn't satisfy him anymore. He could love his kid how much he wanted, she would always slap him in the face literally. He could save hundreds of lives and still be only measured by the amount of fines he had to pay. Deep inside of him he often thought he deserved this kind of behavior of his surroundings, because he had done something wrong when everybody expected him to do the right thing. And every time he came too late to save anybody and was left to stare down to a corpse - again - that unspoken pain arose anew.

He should stop drinking and give in to the fatigue already. Drinking and thinking at the same time only made everything feel worse.  
But there wasn't the comfort of a blanket over his eyes to shut out the world, there was only the hard floor below him. Well, Barnaby sure didn't seem to mind since he was asleep for almost half an hour already. How could a smartass rich kid like him simply lie on the floor and snore away like that?  
Well he seemed to start getting uncomfortable, troubled even, now that Kotetsu gave him a closer look. Something was not right. Barnaby's brows were furrowed, he even seemed to sweat slightly and he began to turn around.  
A bad dream?  
Maybe a nightmare of that time they had talked about for hours tonight?  
Kotetsu skidded closer, he was pretty sure how to soothe an unsettled kid. He was able to spend some comfort again after all this time. So he reached out and began stroking Barnaby's hair, at first just slightly, surprised about the softness of the other's off-standing locks, then more reassured. Reaching up, stroking down, reaching up, stroking down, repetition. Sometimes he would catch a strand of hair and he simply let it run between his fingers. And Barnaby seemed to calm down after some minutes. Kotetsu thought to recognize a faint smile on the younger man's lips, too, and when he did, he caught himself smiling back at him. But before his brain could marvel about the reason for his happiness, sleep finally came over him.

The floor wasn't so hard that it mattered anymore.


	2. Inner Walls

The two of them had something in common: the walls they had built around themselves. And both their walls had the same purpose to keep further harm to their souls outside.  
It was not possible to compare the thickness or the height of both their walls, though, since they had different ways to deal with other people. Barnaby's walls were high, but thin in layers. He seemed hard to access from the outside, but would possibly close the distance if the other person made a serious enough effort to lure him close enough. Kotetsu's walls on the other hand were low but thick. He would let people reach out to him to a certain extent, but not close enough to actually reach him. He would back away if somebody came too close.

Thus it was no wonder that they felt uneasy around each other at first.

Barnaby would not come to open himself to Kotetsu, even if the older man tried to reach him. And Kotetsu would not really open himself up enough for Barnaby to get a closer look from behind his glass castle. The only solution to reach some kind of a trusted stage was for both of them to open up their walls a bit, so the other had a chance to get to know the real person behind all the flashy images on the one side and all the dorky faces on the other side.

It was scary.

And was it even worth it?

They were sure to find out that it was, but that knowledge wouldn't come for free.


	3. Love Issues

Kotetsu wanted to be loved again.  
Barnaby wanted to love someone again.  
The only thing that kept both of them away from fulfilling their desires was the fear of loosing that important person once more.

Not to mention how hard it would be to find this certain someone in the first place.  
It wasn't a matter of looks, they were both good looking enough for a host of people to fall for them; Barnaby being more conscious of that fact than Kotetsu, though.

The problem for Barnaby was that women who found him attractive usually were fangirls with no desire to deepen a romance to the point of actually being in love with more than just the image of the HERO Barnaby Brooks Jr. They didn't want to see the person behind all those posters, picture books and advertising. To be honest, even if they had been interested, Barnaby would have probably tried to hide his true self, since it was too much a contrast to the one being shown to the outside world. He didn't trust anybody to like him anymore after they found out about him. So Barnaby didn't try to make an effort anymore after a while and settled with just simply satisfying his sexual desires from time to time.

In Kotetsu's case, he seemed to fall for that kind of woman who was hard to reach, like some super star or the like. But it was closer to being a fan than actually having serious interest in someone else. His ideals were too high anyway, nobody could compare to his deceased wife in the first place. And to be frank, since Tomoe's death his libido seemed to have nearly stopped its existence. If it weren't for that fact, he would always be even more depressed than as it was. When he had tried to jerk off in the past, images of Tomoe kept flashing in front of his inner eye, reminding him that she was gone even more and hurting his soul anew. Unfortunately being deprived of sexuality still left him with a constantly irritated feeling.

All in all there was no actual 'love' to be spoken of for both of them.  
At least there was friendship.  
Friendship was a good thing, kept suicidal thoughts away from the mind for instance.  
Not that either of them ever thought about suicide in the first place. Barnaby wouldn't rest before the murderer of his parents was found and collared (or maybe dead) and Kotetsu would not break the promise to his late wife to be a hero. They had still a purpose in life, there was no room for... depression...

The view over Sternbild from Barnaby's apartment window was splendid. He could see the city's lights glimmering in the dark every night and let his look run over the wide stretched clusters of buildings by day. Those cold, grayish glass buildings that seemed so isolated from each other, so high it made you dizzy to look up at them - they were nearly brutally ugly. But jump down from either roof and it was definitely the end for you. That was a calming thought at least. Looking back from the window, Barnaby's apartment was so vast and empty it could not be filled even if an army happened to stop by for one night. Well at least that was the impression created by looking at its dimensions and the fact that one could count Barnaby's interior equipment by one hand.  
Kotetsu would look at Barnaby's room and wonder whether the other wanted to feel lonely by all means. There was nothing but space in there, empty space inside, a could surrounding outside. Sitting inside an igloo must feel warmer than living in this place.

In contrast to that, Kotetsu's maisonette was crammed with all kinds of things: books, records, art images, let alone the seemingly uncountable number of ingredients and pots stashed in his huge kitchen. The photographs on his cabinet showed his late wife, his daughter and his mother, they were constant reminders of happier days and the family that he neglected for his work. Look at the photos and start not to get depressed over having lost the love of your life or the guilt you feel towards the family you have left but don't dare to visit. Plus, Kotetsu was not the tidiest man in the world and most of his waste consisted of empty cans of beer or bottles of wine. One of these days he might drink himself to death if he wasn't careful. Yes, the atmosphere in his home was way better than the one in Barnaby's...

The question wasn't whether one would feel more lonely in showing himself what he didn't have or in what he could not have or had lost. There was no question at all whether these two people were lonely, in fact.

So what to do when one knows that trying to love someone else seems pointless and admits to be lonely at the same time?

Recognizing each other's loneliness was a starting point.


	4. Rain

It was around some minutes to midnight and raining heavily when Barnaby Brooks Jr. was on his way home from his job to appeal to his image as the most popular hero rookie of Sternbild. He had been doing hours of interviews, answering fan mail on a radio show and posing for various magazines that believed to sell better with his face on their cover. He was tired, he was worn out, all he wanted was to get home and collapse into bed. But some odd fate had directed him to take the route that lead through Bronze Stage to get home tonight. It wasn't his usual way and certainly not the shortest, but a voice inside of his head kept urging him to drive that way, because it would mean to pass by his partner's house. It wasn't like he wanted to see Kotetsu, he had seen him at work today already.

By midmorning they had answered a call to get into hero business, namely saving people, but sadly they had been too late this time. The incident consisted of a few children playing inside a building in danger of collapsing and it had collapsed on top of them. All that was left for them to do was to retrieve their dead bodies. It was a sad task, but it had to be done until the last kid was recovered and confirmed not to be alive anymore. He would never be able to forget the look on Kotetsu's face as he stood there and realised that he couldn't have helped anyone. One of the children's' mothers even had had the nerve to storm up to him and accuse him to be useless and had started to rant "Why didn't you save my kid?" at him. That was too much for Barnaby to look at. He had wrestled the woman away from his partner and firmly put her back to where the other parents stood in line in front of the debris. He couldn't manage a smile to perceive her not to hack down on his partner at that time. His soul had grown could the minute he had seen the shock in his partner's eyes already, so he had looked at her with pure and evil loathing like no one had seen it from him ever before. She had lost a kid and was a nervous wreck at the moment but his partner was neither responsible for her kid's recklessness, nor for his death.  
But of course his 'lack of emotion' had been captured on film by Hero TV, since they thought they could get a consoling Barnaby out of this, but no such luck this time. He had to defend himself later that he wasn't being able to comfort her because it hurt so much to realise he couldn't have been of any help (well done to use his partner's feelings for his self interest - he felt sick). That did the trick for the media at least, but a tirade of Mr. Lloyds had followed how he was about to ruin his image by a hair's breadth. So he let it slip that he was a human capable of the emotion fury, oh what bad news. He didn't care for that at the moment for God's sake. He was more worried for Kotetsu at that time. The older man hadn't spoken since the incident and even asked to leave early today - which he usually never did. Maybe because Lloyds had seen his uncharacteristically pale face or heard the raspy voice as a sign that he really felt bad that he had allowed him to go home. Seeing as Barnaby himself had a bunch of appointments to attend to, he didn't have a chance to speak with him since then.

All he wanted to confirm now, as he drove down the street passing by Kotetsu's apartment, was to see whether the light was out in his bedroom which was visible from the street. If it was unlit he figured the old man had managed to go to sleep and he would talk to him tomorrow. If the lights were still on, he was about to stop by and look for him.  
He drove slowly, slightly tilting his head to look up to his partner's window and found it unlighted. Huffing a sigh of relief he was about to accelerate and finally head home again as he hit the breaks sharply. What was it that he had seen in the corner of his eyes as he had looked back from the window? He put the car into reverse and slowly drove backwards to come to a halt in front of Kotetsu's house and have a closer look. The heavy rain against the front side window made it a little hard to see but there was clearly someone sitting there on the stone stairs leading to the house while the water poured out on him from the clouds. It was enough to make out his partner's main colors - black, white and green - to put him into action once more. He hastily parked his car properly in front of the house, got out of the vehicle, retrieved an umbrella from his trunk and hurried over to where Kotetsu sat.

The older man was hunched over, elbows on his knees, eyes staring blindly in front of him and he didn't seem to recognize that someone had come near him at all. His clothes were soaked and the peak of his hat was unable to hold back the masses of rain and instead formed the edge of a small waterfall running down on Kotetsu's face.

"Kotetsu-san?"

No reaction.

"Kotetsu-san, can you hear me?"

Still nothing.  
Barnaby bent down and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Kotetsu-san! Snap out of it! You hear me?"

He shook him slightly and finally the man looked up to the blonde next to him.

"Bunny? What are you doing here?"

"That's my line, Kotetsu-san. How come you are out here sitting in the rain and at that hour to boot?"

His partner looked around himself searchingly, seemingly recognizing it was dark outside.  
"How late is it?"

"Somewhat around midnight. Now come on, stand up or you'll catch a cold in this rain."  
Barnaby gave him a leg-up, but the older man was still out of it and not really helping much to get on his feet.

"It's raining."

"Yeah, that's way I'm saying--"

"It's raining, that's way I'm out here. It feels good to be washed away."

"Are you drunk?"

Kotetsu looked at him. His expression was too tied to this world for him to be drunk. He was so sober that it hurt. Barnaby almost wished he was drunk now. If he were, his behavior would have a reason to be blamed on. Well, he did have a reason for acting like this, he presumed. And he pretty much knew what it was.

"Let's talk, Kotetsu-san, okay? Inside your house maybe? It's getting really chilly down here."

"Yes, it's cold, you should go home and get some sleep, Bunny. It's late already."

What was that? Had he really switched to some kind of a caring-mode now and thought Barnaby would just take him at his word and do as he was told? He wrinkled his nose and pressed his lips into a thin line. He wouldn't be gotten rid off that easily.

"Old man, I demand some tea and biscuits, if you have. And if not, I'm fine with tea alone, too. So open that damn door and let me in. Now."

Kotetsu looked at him and seemed to ponder whether it made sense to further argue or to let Barnaby have his way. Sighing heavily, he fished the keys out of his trouser pocket and opened the door.

Opening his apartment door, too, he let the blonde into his home. The lights had to be switched on as they entered, but the TV was running. Not to mention it was... clean. Terribly clean for Kotetsu's usual littering self. He must have cleaned up, but no trash bags were to be seen so he must have taken them out as well. Maybe the rain had started and he hadn't gone back in then. So cleaning up the outside hadn't helped to settle down his insides. Barnaby took all these details in as he slowly untied his boot laces in the corridor. Kotetsu headed to the kitchen to make tea. His hands worked automatically while his mind was somewhere else. Barnaby noticed that, too, as he had to remind his partner to switch on the stove while Kotetsu only stared at the tea kettle.

Barnaby stood next to him and watched him from the corner of his eyes. Kotetsu looked like he was about to cry even if his eyes were dry. The young man had thought they could sit down and talk, but seeing his partner like this made him sure that Kotetsu would not listen to him even then. Slowly his hand came closer to the older man's, until he got hold of his little finger. Kotetsu flinched, but the moment he wanted to pull his hand away, Barnaby caught it and held it firmly.

"Kotetsu-san, this wasn't your fault today. The kids were playing where they shouldn't have and bad luck had it that they were already buried under the debris before we could get there. It was too late the minute we headed out already. You couldn't have done anything to prevent that accident and you haven't done anything wrong. Do you hear me?"

Kotetsu hissed as he drew the breath in through his teeth and tried to hold the tears back, but it didn't work and the water finally spilled from his eyes. Barnaby held his hand even firmer.

"It's okay to cry, I know you still feel sorry for them. It's okay, so long as you don't wear yourself down pondering about the what-ifs."

Kotetsu sniffed and unsuccessfully wiped at his cheek with his free hand while the tears flooded his face. His voice sounded broken as he tried to speak.

"It's just... I could just see me in their parent's... position. It is... You know, they lost their kids... part of their family... I had almost lost Kaede that time the ice skating arena collapsed. If it wouldn't have been for you, she would have died then, too. And I was right there in front of her! And, you know, for a moment I was in that state to realise my kid was dead. It was just for a few seconds but you cannot imagine the feeling of that. It's like... like you are banged over the head and then look down to see your soul carved in half the next moment. It's undescribable. It's..." His voice broke down and he couldn't go on. He pressed his hands over his face.

"It's okay... Sssh, it's okay, Kotetsu-san."  
Barnaby tried to soothe him. First he tried to peel his fingers away from his eyes but it was no use. So instead, he hugged him and patted his head, slowly rocking him a little as they stood there in the kitchen. Thank God he had saved his little girl that day. If just the thought of maybe having lost her brought him down to this extent, what would have happened if he didn't manage to rescue her at that time? No, Barnaby didn't want to think about that. It wasn't like this, his kid was alive and well, the kids dying today weren't his daughter. But still, it had struck him hard and he was a shivering mess right now.  
Barnaby didn't want that. He wanted Kotetsu to be his usual, positive, stupidly grinning self again. He was about to do anything to make that happen, but he just didn't know what to do other than trying to soothe him like he remembered his late mother doing it for him when he was a kid. So he continued to stroke his wet hair and held him in his wet clothes and even hummed a little, just so Kotetsu knew someone was there, somebody cared and he wasn't alone in all this.

After a while, he felt Kotetsu's hands let go of his eyes and dangle down his side uselessly. The older man laid his cheek on Barnaby's shoulder and just took in his breath more steadily now, even if he wasn't completely calm yet. Barnaby inwardly sighed with relief. So it did help a little, yes? He felt the hands of the older man reach out for his head now, and comb through his locks as he embraced him, too. He breathed out a "Thank you, Bunny" into his ear. Barnaby smiled, but when he realised what position they were in right now, he started to blush. So, what now? How long was it appropriate to hold on to him? Was it still okay, or was it already annoying? What was the right thing to do next?

The sharp whistle of the tea kettle blowing hot steam startled both of them and they stopped embracing each other abruptly. Barnaby cleared his throat while he stepped aside so Kotetsu could take the kettle off the stove. The older man blushed, too, even if it was hardly visible. As he rummaged in his cupboard to search for some mugs for the tea, he found his voice again.

"Sorry, that you had to see me like that, Bunny."

"What?" Oh, so he was embarrassed because of that. "Oh, it's okay. Do you... feel better now, Kotetsu-san?"

"Yes, thank you." He handed him his cup with a of tea bag inside and poured the hot water in it, then looked him in the eye. "Really, thank you."

There it was. The gentleness was back in the older man's eyes. Barnaby tension wore off finally. He had made it right, then. As he stared down to his cup of tea, he felt his eyelids slowly slide down, the fatigue had caught up with him at last. He yawned before he knew it.

"My, Bunny, aren't you tired now?" Kotetsu slowly took the cup of tea out of his hands again with a smile and guided him over to the living room part of his home, stopping in front of the couch.  
"Would you like to stay over tonight? I have a bed or a couch I can offer you."

"I can stay?" Barnaby rubbed his eyes and unsuccessfully tried to stifle another yawn.

"Sure you can, let me just get you a pair of pajamas and a blanket, or go up the stairs if you prefer a bed for tonight."

"I'm fine with the couch, thank you." He sat down on the sofa. Sleeping in the other man's bed. He was a guest, wasn't he? Sleeping up there should be reserved for a lover. Man, those cushions sure were cosy, he could just doze off right here and now and...

As Kotetsu returned with some pajamas and a blanket Barnaby was already fast asleep in his sitting position. Shaking his head with a grin, Kotetsu bent down to adjust the blonde's posture to put him into some more comfortable sleeping pose and tucked him in with the blanket. Giving him an appreciative pat on the head, he turned around to turn off the TV and the lights and headed upstairs to get out of his wet clothes and go to sleep as well.

Even without a princess carry, Barnaby had saved him today again when he had fallen down.


	5. Nightmares

I have Nightmares

I wake up to the flames if the shot doesn't wake me.

I wake up to the view of dead bodies if the flames don't wake me.

I wake up to stare up the barrel of a gun if the dead bodies don't wake me.

I wake up to look up to a devilish, flame-infused smile if the gun's barrel doesn't wake me.

I scream.

But nobody can hear me,

because there is no one around

in the cold.

 

Nightmares I have

I dream of running without getting anywhere.

I am too late no matter how much I hurry.

I know I won't make it but I still give it my all.

Like my life depends on this race

\- it doesn't.

But her's does.

But I am too late

every time.

I dream of crying and I wake up with my face all wet.

 

Can I sleep next to you?

When you are near me, your warmth tells me I am not alone.  
When you are near me, your breath tells me you are alive.  
When you are near me, the nightmares don't haunt me.  
Can I sleep next to you?


	6. Lines

There is a line I don't dare to cross.  
If I do and if I fail, we won't be friends anymore.  
We won't be as close as we are now anymore.  
I might loose the trust I worked so hard to gain.  
I might loose the person most important to me yet again.  
I don't want that.  
So I don't dare to cross that line even if it hurts  
in fear of more pain after I crossed it.  
I'm used to pain, it won't matter.

* * *

There is a line I'm afraid to cross.  
If I do and if I fail, I will be loathed, I won't be trusted again.  
And I won't be able to work as a Hero anymore.  
If I succeed, we will be closer all the more, but  
won't I start comparing what I lost to what I found then?  
Won't I be constantly reminded again?  
Will I loose that what I found after such a long time again?  
I couldn't bear it. Not again. Not again.  
I rather endure that pain from not crossing that line.  
I'm good at endurance, it won't matter.


	7. Fear

The cold moon enlightened the gray room where the only piece of furniture was a bed.  
The blonde man sleeping in it was tossing and turning, bathed in sweat and panting heavily. His heart beat like crazy and he fought with a bad dream. There was heat in it, a ray of heat shooting away from him and hitting another man, his partner. As he hurried over to look for him, his chest showed a smouldering burn and his consciousness was gone. He called his name and shook him in an attempt to wake him up, but the body in his hands grew colder by the minute and he had ceased to breath.

Barnaby woke with a start and an ear-splitting outcry.  
Sitting up straight, he turned his head around in every direction, his blurry vision not revealing anything about his surroundings. He felt the blanket clutched in his hands, felt the mattress beneath himself, but he still frantically fumbled for the embed drawer in his bedside to get his spare glasses. Putting them on only revealed his empty room and the full moon outside his window.

Even as his mind tried to tell him it had been just a bad dream, the blood still rushed in his ears and his heart pounded unbearably loudly. Before he knew it, his fingers reached for the cellphone underneath his pillow and he speed dialed a number.

It rang an awfully long time before he heard the person on the other end finally pick up.

"Bunny...? What... What the hell happened...? Do you know what time it is?"

His mouth was dry as he just listened to the other man grumpily answering the phone and it was nearly too late to answer, but he heard himself uttering the words mechanically.  
"Kotetsu-san, are you alright?"

"Mh? I'm fine. Why shouldn't I be alright, Bunny?"  
His partner's voice sounded unnerved but healthy.

Barnaby's voice broke and he had to stifle his tears to be able to speak again.  
"It's nothing."

"Bunny, are you crying?"

"I'm sorry for waking you up. Please go back to sleep."  
Not waiting for an answer, he ended the call and stared down to the illuminated display until the light went out.

It was two minutes past midnight.

The bedding felt damp and cold from his sweat as he tried to lie down again.  
He should change the sheets. But he sensed it wouldn't make a difference in how he felt, so he tried to close his eyes again.

 

The unexpected ringing of his cellphone startled him. The letters 'Kotetsu' were enlightened as it rang and after hesitating for a full three rings, he answered the phone.

"What the hell, Bunny! Don't call me at such an hour and hang up after crying! What's going on? Tell me! Now!"

He sounded so furious when he expressed his worry, it made Barnaby smile a little, but that vanished the second he spoke again.

"I had a bad dream from... when I shot you... in our encounter with the android."

There was a moment of silence, before his partner sighed heavily.  
"Bunny, I am perfectly fine, I swear. And it wasn't your fault, I TOLD you to shoot."

"But you could have died! It haunts me that I nearly killed you! You are very important to me after all!"

The sudden outburst of the usually cool-headed blonde silenced his partner for seconds before he answered with an affectionate sound in his voice.  
"Thanks, Bunny. You are important to me, too. I don't want you to have bad dreams for something I ordered you to do. I'm sorry. And I'm well, seriously, no need to worry."

Barnaby didn't know what to say to that and Kotetsu spoke again, apparently struck by an idea.

"How about this? Call me whenever you think you might have bad dreams at night, or better, call me every few days, then I can tell you about my awesome adventures over here as well."

Barnaby chuckled. "Your 'awesome adventures'? I am sure that would put me to sleep in the blink of an eye."

"What? Do you mean my life is boring, is that what you're saying?"

"I'm just saying hearing your voice was all I needed. Thank you, Kotetsu-san."

"Whenever you need, me, Bunny."

"Goodnight."

"Nighty night."


	8. Sleepless

Kotetsu had to work longer than his partner, finishing up his delayed paperwork that the secretary would not allow to be done by Barnaby this time. 'He would never learn otherwise', she had said. And so they had waved good-bye to each other a good deal of hours ago. It was dark outside already, a few minutes to midnight, even. The security guards of Apollon Media had given him a sympathetic look when he left the building, knowing he came from the office section rather than from the hero department as he would have, had he been late from being on a mission. They would even have saluted to him then, but it was paperwork this time, plain old paperwork, so they came close to snickering instead.

Maybe doing his stuff in time wasn't such a bad idea if he didn't want to be laughed down next time as well.

With that in mind and it getting late, all he wanted was to get a well earned rest at home. And then Kotetsu found him sitting on the stairs leading to his apartment. A young man in his twenties, sitting hunched over, legs pulled up and arms crossed over his knees. He seemed depressed up to his blonde curls that didn't seem able to muster the will to defy gravity as they usually did.

"Bunny, what's wrong? What are you doing here at this hour?"

The blonde looked up to him and just whispered "I couldn't sleep." while looking so tired it seemed a miracle he hadn't passed out yet.

"Overthinking things again or having nightmares?"

"A little of both."

Kotetsu showed him an understanding smile across his shoulder while unlocking the door. Home time had to wait it seemed.  
"Come on in then. I'll make you a glass of hot milk or something. Maybe that will help."  
Kotetsu opened the door in a way to suggest for the other to enter while the blonde finally rose from his sitting position on the floor.

While Kotetsu began rummaging in the kitchen to get milk from the fridge and a pot from one of the many shelves, Barnaby took a seat on the sofa. It was terribly comfortable, even more compared to the hard stone outside the older man's apartment he had sat on for an amount of time unknown to him. But Kotetsu didn't ask for that, he only wanted to know whether Barnaby liked honey in his hot milk and the blonde gave his approval, before continuing to marvel about his partner's sofa.

Why did it feel so soft and warm to sit there, even though it was neither particularly cold outside nor an especially well-made sitting accommodation? Barnaby sighed since thinking made his already aching head hurt even more and he sunk deeper into the seat cushions, leaning against the backrest. He took in a scent he couldn't really classify, but found oddly pleasant and started to relax almost immediately. What was it? He was sure to know it subconsciously, but he couldn't name it. It wasn't really important anyway.

Kotetsu thought how to cheer his partner up in case the hot milk wouldn't work. Normally he would suggest a drinking party, but Barnaby looked so ill and Kotetsu himself felt so tired that he didn't dare consider it this time. But his clouded mind couldn't produce anything constructive aside from admiring the bubbles slowly raising in the pot with milk and Kotetsu nearly missed the right time to take the milk off the stove top. Pouring the hot liquid in a coffee mug and remembering to put a spoonful of honey into it, he walked over to the sofa to hand it over, but Barnaby had fallen asleep already.

The older man rose an eyebrow, but shrugged it off and smiled. Maybe it was just the fault of that oversized apartment his partner lived in and the young man just had felt lonely. In any case, Kotetsu needed to adjust his partner's posture or else the blonde would awake with a terrible neck pain. So Kotetsu got him to lay down and fished for a blanket lying nearby to cover him with as Barnaby stirred in his sleep and Kotetsu feared to have woken him up. But the blonde only turned his head and took a deep breath before showing an eased facial expression and murmuring "Kotetsu-san" with a smile on his lips.

Kotetsu's cheeks reddened a bit as he wondered what in blazes Barnaby dreamed about now, but found everything better than the young man having nightmares and when Kotetsu appearing in the blonde's dreams could help to prevent that, why not.  
As he got up again, his view fell upon the neglected cup of milk and since Kotetsu wasn't a man to waste food, he drank it himself as he walked up to his bedroom and turned off the lights.


	9. Kiss to the Ring

It was a few minutes to midnight on one of these rare days after work when they didn't have to fear waking up early in the morning. The next day would be a day off, so drinking late at night in a semi-lighted bar was okay. Barnaby dutifully listened to his partner's résumé of today's events - Kotetsu tended to highlight his own heroical deeds overly excitedly as usual - with his usual stoic amusement and tried very hard not to snicker while an unbecoming grin conquered his face more and more. He was on the edge of losing his battle, when one of Kotetsu's gestures made him freeze.

\-- B-Side --  
Barnaby's grin vanished from his face in an instant.  
Kotetsu had kissed his ring, that ring, the ring Kotetsu wore since his wedding day and didn't stop wearing even after five years that his wife had passed away. The man in front of Barnaby looked so happy and content while his lips tenderly touched the metal around his ring finger. It was only for a brief second, but it felt like an eternity to Barnaby. A loud hissing voice echoed in Barnaby's mind, repeating 'He still loves her!" over and over again in his mind and his chest felt leaden as he tried to breath like normal but failed mercilessly. He had to look away to hide the sudden sadness and envy that rushed through his veins like a sudden whirlwind.  
It was okay, he knew that this man still loved her.  
He knew it.  
And it hurt nevertheless.

\-- K-Side --  
Kotetsu felt just great tonight. Even though the mission hadn't started out nicely it had all been good at the end and he even got the chance to earn some points for himself. Not that points mattered all that much to him, but he still had to get a ranking above last place if the didn't want to embarrass his partner, the king of heroes, too much - and to spare himself from his partner's ranting. So all in all he felt pretty content tonight and enjoyed the company of his partner in combination with a splendid wine.  
But just as his eyes fell to the stem of his glass, his view wandered over to the ring around his wedding finger.  
His happy smile grew a bit sadder, but he still looked tenderly down to the metal at his hand. It was a keepsake of his late wife, but more than anything it was a constant reminder of the last promise he had made with her: to always be a hero, no matter what. He had satisfied her expectations today, too. The memory made his smile grow even more sad, but before he got too nostalgically, Kotetsu lifted the ring to his lips and gave it a light kiss, which meant nothing more to him than 'duty fulfilled today, too'.


End file.
